Archive - 2009

Welcome Team Review

Pastor Moses is happy that at least the welcome team remembers who he is!

Welcome Team Amnesia

There are only two things you need to join Pastor Moses’ church welcome team. 1) A great smile. 2) A terrible memory.

Praying In Christianese

Christianese: Words and phrases spoken by Christians that sounds religiously fantastic, but actually make no sense whatsoever.

Eric has been sitting under Pastor Moses’ confusing mixed messages for so long he doesn’t even realise that most of his prayers don’t actually make any sense…but hey, they sound great!

When Two Theologies Collide

Most church members just clap and say ‘amen’ to whatever Pastor Moses teaches them. However, John isn’t afraid to challenge his pastor on theological points when he feels they contradict the truth of the gospel. Pastor Moses has a standard way of dealing such questions, but it’s not very beneficial to anyone… come on Pastor Moses, wake up!

Wrong Question

Of all the questions Pastor Moses could ask John to learn more about the finished work of Jesus and the revelation of God’s grace, why did he choose to ask John a question about his church attendance?

Where Are You Being Led?

The Spirit said he would lead us into all truth, but where is Pastor Moses leading his church members?

How To Get Pastor Moses’ Attention

The secret to getting Pastor Moses’ attention doesn’t seem to be in sharing a glorious revelation about being ‘in Christ’, but there is one way to make his eye’s light up…

Critical Spirit?

It seems every time John tries to talk about the greatness of Jesus, and the trust we can have in his finished work and the reality of our New Covenant, he is labeled as having a ‘critical spirit’… But John doesn’t have a critical spirit, he’s just searching for grace…

WMC (worship mediator complex)

Peggy has a bad case of “WMC” (worship mediator complex). The thought of Christians not needing a ‘worship leader’ is terribly insulting to her!

Dodgy Theology

In Pastor Moses’ books, it’s not what you say, but how you say it that counts. It doesn’t seem to matter what theology Pastor Moses believes… what is important is that he communicates it in such a way that it sounds amazing… just don’t think about it too much.

John just wants an honest answer: What did Jesus mean when he said the Father desires us to worship him in spirit and in truth?

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