Searching for grace

(Working title) God’s grammar by Mick Mooney

Introduction:

He woke up from a deep sleep; a strange sleep. The wind was bellowing outside. He was confused. Did God really just speak to him? Did God really just correct him? He was sure it was God, after all, who else could it have been? But it really is rather peculiar for God to correct someone in their sleep, isn’t it? Perhaps if God had have corrected him due to his poor moral behaviour, his lack of faith, his selfish attitude or his wasted life it wouldn’t have seemed so bizarre, but this was different; it was a different kind of correction.

Did God really just correct him on his grammar?

Sam took his time getting out of bed. He looked momentarily disoriented, like a beggar awoken by the hustle and bustle of the morning traffic. He looked scruffy. He looked worn-out. He was worn-out. After everything he had been through. After all the disappointments, all the tragedies, all the let downs; just when he was ready to give up altogether, God showed up.

He sat on the side of his bed, shook his head ever so slowly, like an old drunk trying to avoid the pain of a thumping hangover. He searched for his slippers and contemplated his next move. He wanted to scream like a violent madman, he wanted to swear like a trooper, he wanted to trash his room or punch the wall. In the end, he simply shuffled his way to the bathroom.

What in the world is the present perfect tense anyway? Why on earth would God ask him that question? Of all the things they could have talked about, God chose to discuss grammar!

He sat at the kitchen table. He was already onto his second coffee for the morning. Strong, black, two sugars. He tried to recall his dream. How did the conversation start? He wasn’t sure. It was like meeting your favourite celebrity. You may have watched all their movies, read all their interviews, listened to all their songs and even had their picture on your wall, but in reality you really don’t know them at all.

The only thing he could remember was God wanted to talk about grammar. It would be an embarrassing conversation to have with anyone. To be truthful, Sam didn’t even know the difference between a noun and a verb, let alone the present simple and present perfect tenses! What on earth is an adverb or an adjective anyway? What are conditionals and relative clauses?  In fact, who really cares!

Well, God, it seems.  (continue reading)

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