Programming God Moments

February 1, 2012 — 11 Comments

Liz The Service Coordinator

(And Jessica, Her Faithful Assistant)

Liz is the service coordinator. She plans and organises every part of the church service. She knows exactly what is going to happen in every minute of the service, because it has already been planned out long before the service starts – including the exact time God is required to turn up! Her faithful assistant Jessica isn’t so sure it’s really possible to schedule God moments, but she likes wearing the headset they gave her, so she just plays along.

Programming God Moments

Comic created by Mick Mooney Visit Mick's writing website at:

11 responses to Programming God Moments

  1. hehe had the same in our church, i attended a morning show .. i mean service … and i felt sick to my stomache when the pastor said..” i feel in my spirit…xyz and we need to kneel down and pray” , and i saw that the seats were moved appart further away from each other before the service for the “God moment” to take place… tht sux.. i wasnt too happy.

  2. You stole my thoughts!! LOL ….
    Seriously though. This is so spot on ….i used to joke about this sort of thing with others after we left the megachurch we went to…. I couldn’t count how many times there might have been a real sense of God’s spirit upon the meeting, YET suddenly they had to stop it – cos the ‘worship leader’ knew that there was ‘a scedule to run to’ and didn’t want to upset the CEO, i mean ‘senior pastor’ ;) !!

  3. I’m pretty sure God has a planner scheduling His every move??? Where else would these super pastors get this idea from? Faking it seems to be quite the in thing nowadays – what happened to God within us? I believe we have become used to the record and replay of life in the fast lane,never stopping long enough to see God at work, all the time…

  4. I love it! More prevalent than we think, actually.
    No, God turns up whether he does or not, because someone ‘strategic’ turns him on and everyone follows.

  5. Barefoot Brian June 10, 2011 at 9:33 am

    I was more interested in the fact that Holy Spirit is only allowed 3 minutes of the service. Obviously the rest of the time is all about “human” plans & abilities, not about what God wants to do!

    • yeah, that is concerning ;-)

    • i thought about that too. “Holy Spirit, three minutes, and the timer starts..NOW!!!. . . . . *BUZZZ* time’s up!” While I believe the Holy Spirit can actually do it, I’m not sure everyone in the congregation will be able to “catch on” before Liz gets that big hooked staff and pulls the Holy Spirit off the stage…

  6. If you program God to turn up next Wednesday night at 7pm, do you have to check with him before hand? How does this all work?

    • but I’m sure Pastor Moses could find a fantastic name to hype it up: “Be here next Sunday at 11:54 for 3 minutes of glory power”

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